its hard to let go.

Semua org cakap bila kita accept our regrets, forgive ourself and move on, mesti everything will be alright. I tried. I did. Sumpah. Aku doa. Aku berubah. And org yg rapat je taw mcm mana aku dulu and sekarang. OK. itu achievement aku yg paling aku bangga.

But, at times, the past nightmare will still haunt me down. Bila ingat balik, aku mmg marah lah diri sendiri. Benci pon ada. Dah try mcm-mcm dah nk let go nightmare ni. Sekejap ok sekejap tak. Aku ingat aku dah move on. Tapi hakikatnya, aku rasa aku masih belum maafkan diri sendiri. maybe sebab itu lah aku still tak boleh nak lupa nightmare tu.

Kenapa ye mcm tu? Nak kata tak try, aku rasa aku cuba. Ada cara lain ke? I need to re-cleanse my mind, body and soul. Yes, now aku mengaku. Aku perlu pertolongan. :(

excited mood.

There is something about the holiday that makes me extremely happy. I just love lazing around at home and being with my family. well you see, I don't have much friends. Maybe it's because of me or I just cant get along with them. I don't blame them though. They don't think like me as same goes to me. then again, it's nobody's fault.

Well, coming back to the family moment, raya is coming up soon. Of course I can't wait. The food, the family gathering.owh. i miss my cousins so much. This raya will not be the same. New family members we have. :) my one and only niece baby Mishel Nafeesa and my only sis in law Kak Huda. However, my sis will be going to her hubby's kampung at Kedah. So, i have my parents all to myself. yay! no more cucu to curi the limelight. haha. :)

Move On. I know I did.

When I decided to change on how i see people and accept them, it is surely for real. And trust me, I don't know whether or not I should tell others that I have a new perspective on people. Allah pun ada kata yang benda baik tak perlu nak dihebohkan. So, why don't you accept the fact that I am not the person I was before. I made lots of mistake by judging others based on other people opinion. That is something I should have not do at the first place. Now, I am not that person anymore. I'm being friends with everyone regardless how others sees it. But as long as I have no problem with them, whats the issue? I'm telling you, I don't have to explain things to you in anyway. So. please back off! I don't owe you any explanation. That's the end of it. I befriend with whoever I want whether you like it or not. Allah knows best.

its the season

i notice everyone i know is now sick including me. its the season again. Emma, is down for denggi. (please get well soon dear.i'll pray 4 u) izzati with her sakit mata and cough. Eilya is having bad headache due to the accident on the field. Yaya is also having fever (recovered) Rozy is the only one with high immune system and me, slight on and off fever with a bad sore throat that leads to cough and flu now. The amount of stress with life and uni leads to the low immune system i guess. or maybe the fact that we take health for granted lead to the sick season rite? the fact that we forget how to take care of our body and wouldn't listen to our body is the really main factor.

and this time is ramadan. and i'm having a bad gastric that worries me. can i do my fast for the whole month without any gastritis attack? i hope so. i can't focus in class when i'm sick. my body is here and my mind is elsewhere. how can i overcome this? lets be hardworking like most of my other friends are. jealous in a positive way lah okay.

It's okay Myra. Just be patient and take good care of your health okay. and everything will be alright. Insyaallah.

Let's do this instead MYRA!


By the way, i'm spending my weekends at home. OMG. Finally. Its about time. It's been two weeks i didn't get to be with my family. There's this seminar i have to attend. but, good things will come after few sacrifices rite? Having the chance to break-fast with my family is awesome. I know that not all have the chance to be with their family during ramadan. I am very grateful for everything i have.

Plus i love going to bazaar ramadan!

If only I could turn back time

Yes, I'm writing this and cries at the same time. I dun even know where to begin and how to explain. the only think in my mind is figuring out how sorry i am to you. I really regret for what I've done. and I'm really sorry for it. i know u won't be reading this post but i just need to let it out. I know i made mistake and i really promise i will never ever ever ever do it again. i wasn't thinking straight and i clearly didn't realize the implication on the act.

To whom it may concern,

i am really sorry for what i've done.

i love u so much.
i know you will never understand why i did what i did.

sorry again.

Sometimes, i'm stuck.
Being a normal teenager or force myself to be like how you want me to be. i really have no intention to make you mad. but at times, i really wants you to accept that i'm growing up. i need my space too. i love you so much you will never know. But it hurts when i need to chose what will make you feel good and what i really want. i'm mad at myself because i know i devoted myself to make you happy. but now, i guess i broke it. i'm sorry. i'm just so mad at myself and when you are not here. it became worst. i really need to hug u right now. if only your here. :( please give me a second chance and let me prove myself to you. Please don't cry. I love you, IBU.

Do I have the permission to be frustrated?

Everyday is suppose to be fun for me. However, thursday is not being nice to me. I was told that my class was cancel last minute. I should have just go back to ampang. To add up this bad mood, my broadband line was barred. Plus, the service provider didn't sent any notification about it. Tiba-tiba je barred. This makes me more angry and frustrated. Furthermore, I was told that my ultimate weekend plans that I'm looking forward to is not going to happen. Grrr. I know I'm not supposed to be angry and just take all this positively but the frustration is killing me. Feels like going to the tallest building and scream my heart out. It's annoying when you are having this feelings that you are advised not to. My heart is dealing with a dilemma. To be mad or not to be mad.

In the end, it's up to me to control how I feel and react to this feelings right? Well, I choose to forget it and let's not really put too much hopes in future. Insyaallah. Let's put a smile in your face Myra. Everything will be alright.

perempuan kepochi

I was re-writing my IL notes when the guy i like came in my mind. HAHA. I immediately stop writing. =) He is tall and handsome. The last time I heard from him was when he said the will be waiting the love of his life on the Empire State Building. But she never came. How stupid to reject a handsome and classy boy. Pelik ke? The handsome boy I was talking about is Chuck Bass. my owh my. He is adorable, egoist but charming. I am so in love with him. hehe. Gossip girl never fail to make me feel like i was part of them. It was nerve-wrecking waiting for each episode each week. My god, the waiting part always kills me. It's sad that season 3 of Gossip Girl has come to an end few months ago. And the worst part was when the last episode was when Chuck Bass was stabbed. Arggh. I can't get enough of Chuck Bass. =) Future boyfriend, please be a lot like Chuck Bass will ya? From this series, I made it clear to myself, in god willing, insyaallah, once I'm able to travel with my own money, I WILL GO TO NEW YORK! Upper East Side to be exact. That's where my beloved Chuck Bass lives. Too much of an obsession right? But at least I can be where he used to act. Enough of Chuck Bass for a while. IL notes is calling me!

GG SEASON 1

GG SEASON 2

GG SEASON 3

NAUGHTY BOY

you know you love me.
xoxo

new vibe

Well well. It's been a very long time since my last entry. the last few weeks was awesome. I think differently. I am much more positive now. I smile a lot. and by that i really mean a lot. Definitely, I love the changes I am going through right now. I don't worry about everything anymore. Thanks because my schoolmate Liyana B, really help me open up on the good things in life. Not only that, I still have time appreciating what Allah gave me. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family and friends. I am cheerful now =) I know I need to improve more and learn so much in life. But life is a learning process. I accept it with open arms.

Phuket,Thailand.

Well, on the 26 June 2010, my parents took me to Phuket. It's a mini vacation for me. Well, my ibu said its her way to let go all of the stress she had in the office. Well I would say I agree with her.It's a great way for me to start the new semester. The beach was fun. The food was awesome. I would love to go there again!

Berpada-pada lah hidup ye.

It's been 2 weeks since new semester starts. and I still can't find my study moods. It's all over the place lah rasanya. Well, for the first week, I was sick. Gastrik katanya. Everything I ate all seems to go down the toilet. Muntah okay. haha. I can't handle sickness when I am not at home. I don't know why. Bila kat Shah Alam je I will have poor health. Kenapa ye? Mengada kot. Well, the doc told me that I need to change my eating habits in order to ease the stomach ache i felt. No more spicy food. The instance I heard what she told me, I was like OMG! That's the only kind of food I love to eat. How can I handle not eating things I love? Surviving the first few days without spicy food was HELL. Tapi bila difikirkan kesihatan and kerisauan family. Automatik pedas xde dah dalam hidup ni. Harap-harap lepas ni dah takde lagi sakit perut ni.

Azam baru kali ni.

HEALTHY FOOD ONLY!